This is something we can all relate to - getting attached to our business and experiencing highs when things are going well in our business; new clients pop in, or you receive some great feedback, you've been offered an opportunity... And then feeling low, or feeling down, annoyed or irritated, if something less than great is happening in your business. You've had some cancellations, or unsubscribes, or a launch didn't go so well. Or, you put out a certain email, or something didn't go as well as you expected on social media...
Look, it's completely understandable.
But let's talk about about how can we get off of that rollercoaster, and actually have more choice about how we respond to what are often inevitable things that are going to happen on a day-to-day basis. And have a higher level of well-being, overall.
We need to understand that these fluctuations are inevitable, and come to a place where we decide: "I'm going to choose how I feel, and I'm going to choose how I respond to this." I'm going to choose how I come into my day and how I approach my work. I'm also going to choose if I'm hitting up against a situation or an emotion that's not making me feel so great. Maybe something that is temporary, in the scheme of things, is not a big deal. Then I'm going to choose to upgrade my response to that.
So, know things will happen and decide to see yourself as someone who navigates tricky things. Look ahead and see yourself in three years, five years or 10 years, and if you still see yourself in business at that time, and with a greater level of success, and more experience, start to tune in to how that version of you will be responding to fluctuations in your business.
We need to make a decision about that. Otherwise, your business can grow, and you can have a greater level of success, but you still might be on that emotional rollercoaster, if you haven't consciously chosen that you want to step off...
So, let's tune into our bodies and our emotions. Then we're going to talk about some effective tools that you might use on a daily basis to support your emotions. Finally, I'm going to give you a tool. It's an app that you can use to monitor your emotions, and also get into the habit of seeing your emotions as something you can shift - if you choose to.
When we are really focused on our business, sometimes we don't give ourselves that much space to actually tune in, and to find out how it is that we are actually feeling in the moment. And give ourselves space to process all of the new things that might be happening, or even challenges that we might be experiencing - wins and successes.
We can sometimes be more in our heads, and focused on the next thing, the next thing, the next thing... And we don't give ourselves space. I'd love you to think about how you might do this on a regular basis.
What about an app, like Insight Timer? A silent meditation? That's something I'm really enjoying before bed for a set period of time. Or, is it better when you are moving, that you readily tune into your body? After you've moved, you can allow yourself to feel. It could be yoga, Pilates, running, walking.
Some people like to write, so if that's you, journaling is a great way to do those check-ins with yourself and to process challenging emotional states. Or write about how you're wanting things to be, and to keep that positive, high emotion, about the future. Or, what you've created today, and what you're feeling grateful for.
If you don't already have a regular, ideally daily practice of checking in with yourself, then it would be great to consider at least experimenting with one. You could try something for a couple of weeks, and notice how that is for you. Let's spend a few moments checking in with ourselves. Close your eyes and place your hands over your heart, and take a few deep, slow breaths...
Are there any areas that feel more open, lighter?
Now, I would like you to ask yourself, "What would I love to hear at the moment?" Perhaps from somebody else, or from a really close friend or loved one, what would I love them to say to me? I'd like you to say those words to yourself. So it could be as simple as, "You're doing such an amazing job. I'm so proud of you. Look at what you are accomplishing, how hard you're trying, how resilient you're becoming." Whatever it is that would feel good for you.
Notice any sensations you might be feeling at your own heart - perhaps warmth. And remind yourself, "I am so worthy of this love and care for myself. And when I give myself this love, and this care and his attention, I have so much more that I can also give to others."
Of course, it is also beautiful just to give it to yourself, for its own sake, also.
You might already be able to identify some specific emotions that you go into. Some of us have a go-to. It might be frustration, or fear or anxiety or worry. It might be feeling uneasy or lonely. Whatever it is, you might already have a sense of some of the emotions that will come up for you when less than great things happen in your business. The tools I'm going to recommend are oils and also flower essences, or other kinds of essences. So, I'll share a few examples of different oils and essences that I like...
There are so many oils and essences out there. I find them very supportive. And of course, they activate that sense of smell. They do have an effect on your emotional state. Equally with the essences, they are something you take internally, you take them as drops. They are preserved with the actual essence of the flower, or the substance - just a tiny amount. It's like a homeopathic. They are then taken as a certain number of drops internally.
Let's start with the oils. One of the brands I really like is Sacred Self. I've been using Michelle McGrath's oils since 2010.
What I love about Michelle's oils is they are vibrational remedies, as well as having the beautiful properties of smell. They all have a specific theme - Grace, Joy, Freedom, Surrender, Clarity. You can go to Michelle's website, and you can just ask yourself the question, "What is it that I most need? What do I want to be able to feel when I'm at work, or in my personal life?"
Take a look, and see what stands out for you.
I also love the Earth Jinda range of oils, which you can also wear on your body. They are diluted in an oil, so that you can wear them. Earth Blended is an Aboriginal owned brand. They have some beautiful blends. Patience is one, there is a Connection Oil, which is a collaboration with Allira Potter.
Oils are subtle and supportive. Sometimes, they can make a big difference to how you feel. And it's a really nice ritual of choosing. You have multiple oils. Which oil you would like to wear that day, or which combination, where you want to put them on your body? It can be an intuitive kind of process. Then you have that reminder throughout your day...
I have a selection in my bedroom, in my kitchen and in my office. I also have some doTERRA oils as well. I don't actually sell doTERRA oils, but I get them from my friend, Amy Crawford. If you want to try some, you could always connect with her. You can find her on Instagram, The Holistic Ingredient.
Just ask yourself: "What is it that I need?" Find out what jumps out at you. Even if you've taken plenty of essences in the past, there are so many different kinds. If you're looking for a little extra emotional support, it can be fun, just to find a new range, that you haven't come across before.
Another type of essence that I really like and take regularly, are the Liquid Crystals. You can go to the Liquid Crystal website, and read about the different crystals, and what the properties are, and what it is that they support you with.
I find them to be really powerful. You can take them for a course, it might be about 21 days. If you want to really get into it, you can also track how it is that you're feeling throughout that time by journaling. Explore what that essence is bringing up for you, what it's helping you to process and any memories that have been activated. They can be really powerful.
Another thing you can try when you need to process heavy emotional states is EFT, Emotional Freedom Technique. I often recommend having a look at someone like Brad Yates, he has heaps of free videos on YouTube.
When we work for ourselves, it's useful to become skilled at going on that emotional rollercoaster, and then recognising it. Figuring out how to get yourself off that emotional rollercoaster, more and more effectively.
If you're a part of my Align + Attract group, or you have my DIY Kinesiology Kit, you can use my Alignment Process. It helps you to define what it is you're wanting to feel. Or what you're wanting to refocus on, your goal. It's about figuring out specifically what it is that's blocking you from being able to feel that or achieve that, and then, to shift that internally.
Maybe it's taking an action. Maybe you need to give yourself a time out. It's going to vary depending on what the specific situation is, but it's going to shift you into a different emotional state. One that is going to feel more resourceful.
We've already talked about journaling, but I occasionally come across clients who will say they're not so aware of their emotions, perhaps across the day, or how it is that they're actually feeling.
Then all these different emotions are coming up, and they're like, "Oh, I'm not sure. I don't really think I feel that." And then we go into it, and it's, "Oh wow. Yes, actually, that's really true. I do feel that, when you put it that way." Or, "I didn't realise how much that was actually impacting on me."
Just locking it all away, and then wondering why, after a period of time, we feel blocked, maybe even a little bit depressed, or a bit stuck. It's like we've dampened those emotions down, we haven't really felt them. And then, they've built up, and it's really tricky to untangle it, especially for ourselves. Because we haven't been allowing ourselves to feel and process those emotions. So, I'm going to recommend an app called Mood Meter.
When you log into Mood Meter, it prompts you with the words, "I feel," and then you choose the emotion that best reflects how it is you're feeling in that moment. You can just scroll around and see which one best reflects how you're feeling. Then you can add what it is you're doing at the time. It could be a work-related thing, it could be family, it could be something else.
If you say you'd like to shift it, it offers you one suggestion, for something you could do, that would help you shift that specific emotion.
Naming your emotions is really powerful.
It's something that can help us feel a greater sense of control over: "Ah, this is just an emotion, I've named it, that's what I'm feeling."
Then, you can choose if you're going to do something about this. If you're going to sit with it, or seek to change it. Take an action and notice the effects of that action.
I had to do it as part of my Diploma of Positive Psychology. I set reminders on my phone. So at 7am, 9am, 11am, 1pm - and so on, every two hours across the day. And then, as I put in the first reminder at 7am, I just set the reminder to recur every day, the same thing for 9am, and on it goes.
Across the course of a day, you will get some data. And if you keep on doing it for a week or two, you get quite a range of data. You can get curious about that. Where do I seem to spend a lot of my energy at the moment? What kind of emotional states are most common for me?
Of course, if we were to find that we're spending a lot of time in a low energy negative state, then we'd say, "Hey, okay, that's probably not a great place to spend all of my time, or a lot of my time. What's really going on here? What am I going to do about it?"
Also, if it was a lot of high energy negative, that's a lot of frustration or anger, feeling irritated, feeling annoyed, and so on. Then ask: "Well, what's contributing to that?" And "What can I do to support myself, so that I don't spend quite so much time feeling that?"
If you're feeling excited, can you think about business activities that are great to do when you're feeling excited? It might be recording a podcast interview, or doing a podcast solo. Or it might be doing a Facebook live, or something that's sales-related or reaching out to clients, or potential clients. All great things to do when you're feeling excited.
But there are other emotional states that you can be in, that support other activities. You could have been really excited - so you're probably not going to feel like doing your bookkeeping.
Because you're in a better space to do it.
If you're feeling excited, and you were to go through your website, looking for changes, or things that are now out of date or something like that, you'd probably be, "Oh, they'll be good, whatever, it's fine." Whereas if you're feeling a bit lower energy, negative to start with, you might actually go through that, and you can find those problems more readily. It can be really useful.
My suggestions are to give yourself some space, tune into your body, and your emotions. Find effective tools for you. It might be flower essences, it might be essential oils, it might be EFT, it might be something else...
If you're experiencing a lot of emotions which are heavy for you, difficult to work through, or you've got some kind of external or internal stress that's creating a lot of challenges for you, of course, you should seek external support for that. And there are many different ways to do it. Seeing a Kinesiologist is one of them. You can see some kind of therapist, and make sure you do get support to unpack that.
Sometimes things are just too tricky to do on our own. I want you to feel that you can operate at your best. So please do get some external support, if you need it.
If you'd like to work with me privately to help you to get off of the emotional rollercoaster in business, you can find out more about how to do that over at alignandattract.com/private-sessions.